Blast from the Not So Distant Past... Jesus God!

I have to take just a moment to discuss some ignorance that has occurred in my world today. I'm sitting at the office minding my own as I frequently do and my computer screen starts jumping and my phone starts buzzing (It's makes an obnoxious noise when it's on vibrate.) Lo and behold I've got a text message. Which as many of you know I'm always excited to get. It was from Special K. A little back story on Special K. Met him at Play (A place that I will never return to because everyone has asymmetrical hair cuts and wear girl jeans.), he was really nice, gave him my number, we talked, he came over one night and... This is where I quit telling this story, because it's painful and rude and it irritates me to no end. Needless to say, he and I haven't talked in about a month. So, anyway, back to this text message.
It was all very polite y'know "Hey, what's going? How have you been?" blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I was completely nice to him, told him I was doing great, I was at work, whatever. A few minutes passes and I get a text from him that said "We should get together sometime." Hoping he would get the cold shoulder I was trying to put off (Note: Shit like that does not come across in text messages), sadly that was not the case. I told him that I was seeing somebody now, I was very happy, and I had no desire to try to screw it up. And the response I got, completely blew my mind. I get a text from that little shit that said "So? It's just a hook up." If I knew where he was right now I'd leave the office go push his face through the back of his head. I mean really who does he think he is? Because I'm really the type that is going to screw around on the guy I'm with? I mean, it's like something out of a really trashy adult comic book romance novella.
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand the concept of cheating. Am I the only one who feels this way? If you don't want to be monogamous, say so and move on and get all the boys and be sure to send them each a pendant, a trinket of some sort once you’re done since you’ve got the petty cash. Be a gentleman about the shit if you’re going to be a man whore. If you do want to be monogamous, then shack up and get it cracking. Fix my car. I’ll rub your shoulders. You tell me I smell great. I tell you you’re the shit, and let’s do this. I’m sorry, but when a man cheats on me I'm all "I have to take my babies and bounce" and be like "don’t forget to send that alimony check fool. I’ll be at my mom’s." Even more, I can't understand how there are people who stand by their significant other when they get cheated on. I’m sorry, but I need a moment, like two years and 4 months, to get my bearings. You cheated on me. I worship the very ground you walk on, the air you breathe, and you cheated on me! You know what, I’ll just be at the house thinking, burning your clothes, eating Ambien, conjuring up black magic and I’ll talk to you in a bit honey, okay. Yeah, and don’t forget to eat shit and die on your way out!
Anyway, I got on a tangent there for a minute. Had to get that out of my system. Have a great afternoon folks! Ha Ha Ha!