When Too Much Really is Too Much...

How do you know when too much is really too much? And I'm not talking too much pork in your diet or too much caffeine during the day, I'm talking about too much information, taking a joke too far, or too much booty in the pants... Not really, but you get the idea. Everybody has that one person in their life who shares too much, won't let a joke die, or is still mad at you for getting mustard on her favorite sweater when you were in the sixth grade. For those of you reading this and thinking you don't have one of those friends, it's you! What are the warning signs that you're sharing too much? How do you know when to let a joke die? When is the right time to forgive and forget?
I have never been one to share too much, but at the same time if someone asks I've never been one to hold back (Well, on certain topics). But there are people in this world who do not know when to shut the hell up and keep some things private. Let's take for instance a woman I work with. We'll call her Pepper, for argument's sake. Now, Pepper has a really hard time managing money. So much so that she is on a first name basis with the man who comes and cuts her cable off every month. How do I know this you ask? Because at the mere mention of the word 'money' she will just about give you her bank account balance and tell you which check numbers bounced, which ones cleared, and why it happened. Now why? None of that is really relevant information for the general population of my office to know, because one good case of word vomit and the whole office knows her financial situation that week. All she would have to do is say "Hey, I did some really stupid stuff with my checking account." Wham, bam, thank you ma'am that's all we need and we're good on the details of Pepper's financial instability. But the real question is this: How do you tell someone much like Pepper that they are sharing too much without coming across as rude? The awful truth is that you can't. Sure you can drop a few hints or tip toe around the issue, but when it comes down to it, outside of an intervention, the best way to deal with this type of person is to just walk away when the subject comes up. It's not the nicest way, but it saves you from having to hear about it for the umpteenth time in a few days.
Jokes are a great way to break the ice at a party or on a first date, but sometimes there are people who decide to beat a dead horse when it comes to a joke. I will admit that I, myself, have in fact been guilty of this from time to time. Sometimes when you're riding the crest of a great joke it's only natural to want to see how far you can take it, but trust me it's in everyone's best interests to just let it go. Chances are if you let it go after the final punch line, you will save yourself and those around that awkward silence that plagues almost every conversation ever had by any two or more people. A loop hole in to this is, if a similair subject comes up later in the conversation, it's ok to make reference to the previous joke, but for the love of all that is holy don't retell the joke. It's always best for those of us who have a tendency to drag a joke out to have a friend around who will say "Whoa, whoa... Too far," then you know. If you don't have that friend and let's just say that you're at a party and you've told your best joke (ie "What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for? The DRIZZLE!). People are laughing, you're a hit, but for whatever reason you think you can drag this out for a little bit longer, watch the people around you. If you see someone cut their eyes, you know it's time to stop or else you'll fall victim to one of the biggest social faux pas of your life, one that you might not ever recover from. You'll become a shut in, live a life of reclusion, and become that crazy cat person. Not really something you're looking forward to is it? Now you know how we feel about your jokes.
One of my favorite sayings of all time is: "You better let go and let God!" And basically it means that you better quit worrying about that trivial stuff and let the Lord handle it! It's a common misconception that women can carry a grudge longer than any other living being on the planet, but it has been my experience that we can also add gay men to that list. Let me tell you that I have ex-friends and exes who still refuse to be in the same room with me because of something I said or a joke I made or something stupid like that. Which is fine, you know, to each their own, but really let it go already. How long are you going to be mad at me for saying your Gap "skinny jeans" made you look like Rosie O'Donnel wrapped in cling wrap? Ok, so that's not the best example, but you get the idea. I think we could all be a much happier people if we got off our high horses and bury the hatchet.
So now, I give you the soap box. Do you have a friend (or are you that friend) who shares too much? If so, what do you feel the need to share too much about? What is the maddest you've ever been at someone for something, that now, you realize is completely juvenile?
Also, I'm opening up the comments for any question you might have that you would like me to address. Just as a test to see how this goes. If you like this blog, tell your friends. If you don't like it tell me why and I'll see how long it takes me to delete that comment!