Gay Man Survival 101: Lesson 1: Travel with a Pack of Lesbians

If there's one thing I've learned in my years out of the closet it's that gay men love a good lesbian, a good crazy, and a good slut. While I would love to go into my favorite crazies and sluts, this post is about the lesbeterians. Now I'm not talking some cute college co-ed type lesbian (Not that I'm dogging them, because I do love the lipsticks), I'm talking about the baddest of the bad, foaming at the mouth, crazy for a bar fight and a good shot butch lesbians. There are some that have one or two lesbians I, however, have a gaggle, a pack, a pride, if you will, of lesbians that is growing every day. This has become somewhat of a trademark for me, which I am more than cool with because a lesbian can change a tire with one hand tied behind her back and do all the hard core lifting and building stuff without breaking a sweat. For this I am truly greatful for my lesbians.

While I might be greatful for my lesbians, there are some of my people who have not experienced the joy of having a big ol' truck driving lesbian in your corner. My friends you do not know what you are missing out on. Imagine this, if you will: You're out at the bar on a Saturday night talking to some hot boy you just met. Out of nowhere a guy steps between and gets all in your face about hitting on his boyfriend. Now, would you rather have this guy beat the holy hell out of you in front of god and everybody? OR would you like to cock an eyebrow and have a ten foot two lesbian step out of the shadows and scare the piss out of said guy? Exactly, you want the lesbian. You show me a gay boy who's not scared of a big ol' lesbian and I'll show you a gay boy who's never had his ass kicked by one.

However, while I am very pro-lesbian I have to add that there are some of the lesbians that are nothing but D-R-A-M-A. You know who you are so I don't have to name names. And while their sexual behaviors are a little iffy and their beer choices questionable, it's still always best to have one around because you just never know when you're going to need to move a TV, or flip an exes car or build something.