Conversations with My 13-Year-Old Self...

Ok so, if you're like myself and much of America these days your parents are no longer together and there's nothing wrong with that, over the years you've embraced it and moved on with your semi-functional life. The problem is how do you balance having a healthy relationship with both your mother and your father, your two moms, or you two dads, whatever the case may be. It's not the easiest task in the whole world and there are some who manage this quite successfully and some who do not. I am the latter.

You're angry, I know this
The world couldn't care less
You're lonely, I feel this
And you wish you were the best
No teachers or guidance
You always walk alone
You're crying at night when nobody else is home

Let's just face facts that divorce isn't easy for anyone. Parents, kids, relatives, pets, you get the idea. But at some point the children of divorced parents have gotten wise to the whole idea and figured out ways to manipulate their parents against each other. Again something I am guilty of. But at you grow up you kind of figure out that that's not the way things should go and you let go of your juvenile need to have one parent out do the other because either way you win.

Come over here and let me hold your hand and hug you darling
I promise you that it won't always feel this bad
There are so many things I want to say to you
You're the boy I used to be
You little heartbroken 13 year old me

But what happens if after the kids have gotten over the manipulation the parents are still out to do it? Always trying win the kids' favor by trying to keep one parent out of the picture. How do you handle that? I mean sure you can brush it off and ignore it, but what if you've gotten to the point that you can't.

You're laughing, but you're hiding
God I know that trick too well
You forget, that I've been you
And now I'm just the shell
I promise, I love you
Everything will work out fine
Don't try to grow up yet
Oh just give it some time

Now, let me preface the rest of this entry with the fact that my mother and my father's girlfriend do not, have not, and will not ever get along. They will not be in the same room as each other without all hell breaking loose. I do not know why, I don't care why, it's none of my business. Yeah, it's hindered some family events and made holidays ungodly difficult on everyone involved, but you got to do what you got to do.

The pain you feel is real you're not asleep but it's a nightmare
But you can wake up anytime
Don't lose your passion or the fighter that's inside of you
You're the boy I used to be
The pissed off complicated 13 year old me

Now back to the point of this post, I recently moved to Nashville from Birmingham (As I'm sure I have said more times than I care to count). At the time the only thing I had with me was my clothing and a television. All my other worldly possessions were left in my old house until a time that I could get them up here. Well, that time was over the Thanksgiving holiday. Being in a bind, as I usually am, my last resort was to call my father and ask him to come help me move. My father agreed as long as I could put gas in his truck, which I was fine with. However, the stipulation upon agreement was that my mother not be present at any time during the moving process. Being in a bit of time crunch, I agreed, not thinking of the ramifications of such an agreement.

Conversations with my 13 year old self
Conversations with my 13 year old self

About an hour ago, the roommate called me to let me know that we had an extra week before we had to move in, thus relieving a huge amount of stress what with have to move during the Thanksgiving holiday and all that. I immediately called my mom to let her know what was going on and she said that was all good and that she would be more than happy to come help me move as long as my father's girlfriend was not there. And therein lies the problem. My father's girlfriend would most definitely be there. Like an idiot I informed my mother that the only way my father would agree to help me move was if she was not present. Yeah, definitely the wrong move. I definitely understand where she is coming from being upset. I can respect that, I mean it is her house now.

Until we meet again, oh I wish you well
Oh I wish you well, little boy until we meet again
Oh I wish you well, little boy
I wish you well, until we meet again
My little 13 year old me

So now on top of figuring out the moving arrangements, I've got figure out a way to make some peace between everyone involved or this is going to be one of the hardest moves I've ever made. I feel like I'm right back where I started ten years ago, torn between parents trying to figure out how to make the best of the situation. I picked this song to intermingle with this entry because it definitely represents how I'm feeling about the next two weeks. And to top it all off, I'm coming down with something.